My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I could fuck to npr.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
