i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
