I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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