and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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