I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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