I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Are we in a gay sports bar?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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