the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
