Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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