I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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