Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
