So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
