windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
worst night to have a conscience
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
