I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
