people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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