no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize