I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize