It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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