She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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