You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize