Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
