sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Randomize
