is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
