On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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