Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
