R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
