Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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