you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
