She said her name was "party"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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