Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
