butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
