they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
