I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Those nachos came to me in a dream
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
