i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
