hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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