We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
