I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
