I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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