so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
