I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
