I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
