what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
