this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
