I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
