White coat. Heels.
I cut my penus on the lid.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
