my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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