Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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