Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
