I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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