So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
