getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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