Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
