I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
