Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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