We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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