if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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