our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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