Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize