I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
