I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
